I began to study the sexual habits and rituals of different types of birds. How the species have lots of variants and how almost 90% of birds are monogamous. I began painting. It started out as a bird person bending over in bed waiting to get the cloacal kiss. I then expanded my research into different types of animals to see if I could include any more references to the animal kingdom. After doing that I quickly learned how gross, and violent the sex habits of most animals are. I decided to restart with a new composition. The painting became a demon-like animal dominating an angel- like figure with bdsm toys. About a week later I was heading to a therapy appointment at 8pm I arrived almost a whole hour early and deceived myself to kill time by drinking at the bar across the street. We had spent the entry of that session talking about how gross and awful the people I was watching in this bar were. How gross and aggressive then men were, it really reminded me of all the research I had been doing. Soon I began painting again but focusing on the ideas of how we are just animals and many people have these weird impulses and act awful and how self reflection and therapy are hard but they really work. My piece was informed by so many of my own conversations with my therapist and my own thoughts and anxieties about being human and trying to understand yourself and the fact we are nature.